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[This is the third of three posts; I recommend you read them in order, going back two posts]

I don’t think any body part creates more discomfort or controversy than a penis. It’s appearance in film, or a play, always creates a frisson, guarantees an X-rating.

Why so taboo?

In receiving a puhoro, and posting photographs of it, I’ve had to think about this carefully.

I finally decided there was no way to appreciate the design fully unless I was naked. From the rear, a naked shot is not so problematic. The male ass alone does not guaranteeing an X-rating.  But side views, and certainly a frontal view, without any clothing, cannot avoid the penis.

I thought long and hard about whether to post that one naked frontal view to the web.

Why is the penis so problematic? Why can’t it be seen, without an intake of breath, or raised eyebrows, without an X-rating?

Nothing on the female body causes such a problem, not even full frontal nudity.

Why is a penis different?

There are many potential answers.

For instance, the objectification of women’s bodies is normalized in our society, the gaze always being male. We are used to seeing women naked, or nearly so.

Male nudity, for the presumed male gaze, is much more problematic, because of its implied homoerotic desire. Men are not used to being objectified, and our society is generally more uncomfortable with the objectification of men. Only since the 1980s, with Bruce Weber’s work in ads for Calvin Kline underwear, have we become accustomed to seeing nearly naked men presented as sex objects.

Further, men often have complicated relationships to their penises. Some men are proud, some more insecure, even ashamed. The default is to keep it hidden. Perhaps not wanting to be judged, since too much of masculine identity can falsely be hung on penis size.

For a man, everything sexual is external and exposed. His genitals—both penis and testicles—on display. His sexual arousal and his sexual pleasure external and obvious.

And while any penis spends most of its life soft and dangling, spends much more active time peeing than ejaculating, it has the capacity to become erect, to ejaculate, to become more-overtly sexual.

That’s the central problem in showing a penis, I think.

There is nothing inherently sexual about hanging balls and a soft penis; in fact, in the context of sex, a soft penis is decidedly un-sexual.

They are just body parts, could be seen more like a woman’s breasts, which are not nearly so incendiary on display. Topless bathing not uncommon on the beaches of Europe.

The soft penis is not the problem.

It might be better if we were all more relaxed about it, as some male actors are—Jude Law, Ewan McGregor, Viggo Mortensen, to name a few.

The soft penis is only problematic because it has the capacity to become erect, because it’s difficult to look at without imagining its other role.

That problem’s in our minds.

I’ve had so much shame about my body. And about the size of my penis.

But not any more.

So do I care who sees my penis? Not really. It just is, like any other part of my body.

I’m aware that not everyone wants to see my penis. But they don’t have to look, if they don’t want to.

That’s what I finally decided when I posted that one frontal view of the puhoro on my naked body.

And for me, comfortable nudity is a way of reclaiming my body, of not having shame about it.

Even now, at 72, when my body is well beyond it’s prime. Not necessarily ready for its close-up.

But for me, it’s a powerful statement, a new celebration of my body.

We all have bodies, roughly half of them issued with penises. We all have complicated relationships with our bodies—things we like, things we don’t, especially as we age.

But these are the bodies we have, the bodies we have at this moment.

And for those who have been disembodied by sexual trauma, moving back in, reclaiming a body for ourselves, is powerful.

Even reclaiming a 72-year-old body.

It’s just my body. My body at this time of my life.

A body that came with a penis.

A body reclaimed with a tattoo, that I want to show you.

A body I refuse to be ashamed about.

So here is the completed tattoo—the parts that are inked, and the parts just drawn in, which will be modified and inked at a later date.

This is the proposed design on my butt and lower back.

This is how it looks from the front and the back, from the left and the right. All views needed to show a complicated 2D design on my 3D body.

And I’m naked, so no part of the deign is obscured.

So there’s a butt. And a penis.

But is it really X-rated?

I don’t think so.